“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” is my
favorite cliché phrase as a teacher. It comforts me to recite it on
days when I spend hours on a lesson plan only to have an
unauthorized, off-color dance and giggles from the crowd upstage
my efforts.
This phrase not only eases my anger, it keeps me going.
Allen Mendler, Ph.D. shares my philosophy. He says he’s
discovered you “can't change anybody else's behavior.” Mendler’s
goal as a teacher and a school psychologist is to try to influence the
child’s behavior, not change it. To do this, Mendler says we must
“maximize the 10, 20, maybe 30 percent of the influence that's ours
and to make our voice as interesting, melodic, harmonious … even
as seductive as we possibly can, because as we all know, there are
always voices that compete for the hearts, minds and souls of our
kids.”
Mendler offers many ways for teachers to influence student
behavior. Below are five ways that you can use in your own
classroom to encourage on-task behavior.
PRESE RVE DI G N ITY
When discussing discipline, Mendler says the most important thing
is to “pick strategies that at the very least preserve dignity.” He
questions the tactic of putting students’ names on the chalkboard
when they are misbehaving. By publicizing a student’s misdeeds,
teachers put the student’s competency into jeopardy and set the
stage for a power struggle.
Instead, when dealing with an in-class disruption, Mendler suggests
using P-E-P, which stands for Privacy, Eye contact, and Proximity.
This strategy helps balance the control between the student and the
teacher.
For example, Mendler says if a student mumbled something during
class, the teacher would “get as close as you can to the student with
as much eye contact as that student can tolerate and with as much
privacy as realistically is available in a public setting of a classroom,
(and) convey your message of correction.”
He suggests you could also write your correction on a sticky note
or an index card. “With some students, it works even better to use
a Post-it note or an index card, and instead of saying what you
would normally say your correction to be, write your correction
down on a piece of paper,” Mendler said.
BASE YOUR RULES ON P R I
Prevention is the key in many aspects of life; education is no
different. By having effective rules, teachers can limit disruptive
student behavior.
Mendler suggests focusing on a values-based classroom. At the
beginning of the year, Mendler tells his students his three values:
take care of yourself, take care of each other, take care of this place.
He then invites his students to be important participants in coming
up with rules that represent examples of these principles.
“I like to give the lion's share of the responsibility for the
development of rules to students,” Mendler said. “One thing
certainly not to do with regard to rules is to have many, many of
them. Quite frankly, the good kids don't need a million rules. And
the bad kids, the more rules you give them, the more ideas you
might actually give them to break rules.”
HAVE EFFECT I V
In my classroom, the students develop the four rules (a tactic
Mendler recommends). I also have a list of sequential consequences
(a tactic Mendler does not recommend). After this year, I see why
he doesn’t recommend the list; not every strategy works for every
kid and sometimes I give ineffective consequences.
“I think that's the wrong way to go about doing things, because as
an educator, it locks you into doing something based upon what
the system says, rather than based upon what you think is going to
most effectively work with that particular student,” Mendler said.
Instead, Mendler suggests checking in with the students and asking
their opinion about what consequence or consequences they think
might work.
HAVE A PLAN
Before ever stepping into a classroom, teachers should have a plan
for crisis situations and they should count on teaching the plan to
their students. When dealing with a crisis situation, like a fight, it is
important that students know what they should do: Stay away and
don't join in.
“The teacher, or the authority person, needs to reassure him or
herself, as well as everybody else, that since you're the person in
charge, you're going to be the primary person to deal with the
issue,” Mendler said.
In addition to a plan for crisis situations, have a plan for less
destructive behaviors, such as yelling out. This way you will be less
tempted to kick students out of class over annoying, yet
manageable conduct.
“I want it to be hard for kids to throw their education away,”
Mendler said. “I want to make it difficult for them to get
themselves kicked out of a class.” Instead, Mendler suggests
ignoring minor behavior infractions and addressing possible
consequences after class with the student.
BE F A I R A N D DEF I N E FA I R N ESS
One of my least favorite things to hear as a teacher is: “That’s not
fair!” I have to fight the urge to yell back, “Life’s not fair!” But, the
truth is: It’s not.
To combat the “That’s not fair!” cry, Mendler tells teachers to
address the fairness issue the first day of school. “It's very, very
important to make a distinction between being fair and treating
everybody exactly the same way,” Mendler said.
At the beginning of each school year, Mendler tells his students he
wants them to all be successful. But, he explains the definition of
“successful” is different for each student.
“What I mean by 'success' is you getting better in whatever
academic area we're doing — you getting better today than you
were yesterday…not necessarily better than everybody else in the
world or even in this classroom,” Mendler said.
When teachers embrace the individuality of each child from the
beginning, students will be more willing to accept different
consequences for each student without complaint.
S T R ATE G IES AREN’T ONE-
Whatever strategies you decide to employ in the classroom,
Mendler suggests that you keep one thing in mind: working with
students is a roller coaster ride. A strategy may not work
immediately or the student may slip back into old behavior.
“Before you decide whether or not something works or doesn't
work with a student or a group of students, try it at least five times
for over a trial period of two to three weeks, and evaluate it on this
basis,” Mendler said.
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