Guest Post: Letter to a High School Teacher

This post is from a Middle School student to their future High School teacher. Have you seen that movie “American Pie”? You know how Jim thinks he knows “things”, but only knows apple pie?
Remember that when I walk into your class for the first time. I will likely have what my old social studies teacher calls my “bravado mask” on much of the first quarter. Whatever that is…I don’t get it. We watched a lot of movies. I had an English teacher that talked about how he didn’t expect us to be professional writers because, well, none of us were. That gave me confidence to take risks in my writing (he always told us to do so!). Please don’t expect me to write like Lois Lowry or Jordan Sonnenblick. But, they’re cool.
Oh, here are a few things I’d like you to know before I get into your class. I still care a lot about what people think of me. My school counselor says that is my most adult-like trait. I don’t get it. I still have to move around a lot in class. I’m addicted to teachers allowing us to work in groups. I kind of get why. I see the workers at Target always talking (my math teacher said he likes to dress up in khaki pants and a red polo on weekends and walk around at Target answering people’s questions) My PE and computer teachers used sarcasm and, for the most part, I understood what was going on. However, I did get in trouble a few times when I was trying to be sarcastic but it came across as me being a jerk. I’m still learning how to use sarcasm. I understand that you are trying to treat me like I’m an adult. But, I’m not yet. Point to the older students for me to look up to. Especially if they are cute. In all honesty, I’m not too afraid of the school work and homework because my middle school teachers have trained me to only think about that lame test we take every spring. Seriously, that is all they talk about. The only thing I have mastered is how to bubble in circles. I think that is sarcasm.
I’m still immature and my parents say I will be until I get a real job other than handing out flyers for the local ice cream shop. You should try their mint-n-chip…it’s a party in your mouth! Especially if you put rainbow sprinkles on top of the ice cream! Now that’s sarcasm! Right? The only remaining curiosity I have is related to my social life: both my real and made up one in my mind. Sometimes I get the two mixed up. I want friends, but I want to be left alone – both make life easier. Even though I may look annoyed when you talk to me, I am listening to what you are saying just like Jason Biggs’ character in “American Pie” is outwardly annoyed with his dad giving him advice on “things”, but inside is intently listening. Oh, I secretly like Justin Bieber.